I love my man in uniform

I realize it has been a veerrry long time since I've posted anything. We had a crazy 2 1/2 week internet outage, etc. I have rapidly growing belly pics and a few entertaining stories to tell, but for tonight I'm here just to tell everyone who is interested to tune into PBS this week from 8pm to 10pm. It's a week long documentary about the USS Nimitz's 2005 deployment to Iraq. As some of you know, this is Mark's ship so I'm glued to the TV trying get a glimps of my man. He's one the crazy guys running around in a green shirt and is also part of the search and rescue team. I'm personally hoping I get to see one of his rescues. Stay tuned!

Predicting Baby's Looks Can Scar You for Life

I'm bored on a Friday night while Mark is at work so I decided to see if there was any amazing new technology on the web that might help me get an idea of what Mark/Kelly combo might look like. For anyone expecting, or even if you are just curious, please be warned, this is a terrible idea.

The photo above comes from knockedupbabycreator.com.

Now, if you will turn your attention to a more disturbing image. I give you, example 2 from morphthing.com. Get read to pee your pants (I did...a little).


So there we have it folks! I am permanently scared by this creepy picture. By the looks of it, we're going to have a grinning fool who plays tennis on windy days.

Cravetry and Vomitry

For some reason my favorite pregnancy topic of late has been my many serious food aversions. During my "morning sickness" phase (aka most of entire first trimester), I discovered that I could barely stomach a saltine let alone a delicious chicken sandwich (buugh!). I have since discovered that my favorite food, the enchilada, would be the food most likely to make me vomit while pregnant. I also learned that my distaste for so many of my non-pregnant favorites would be with me for a long time. I absolutely will not tolerate the following foods....drum roll please.....

- any mexican food, especially guacamole and enchiladas
- garlic
- basil
- whole chicken breasts (as in the kind on a sandwich or the kind you marinate in tasty juices and cook on the grill...my summer won't be the same)
- tuna...even the smell of tuna will send me running for the bathroom
- ok, fish/shellfish/anything with a fishy type of odor will send me running for the bathroom
- coffee (so sad...so very sad)
- soda (also makes me say boohoo..tastes good yes, stomach says no way Jose)
- oatmeal
- PB & J sandwiches
- chicken noodle soup
- the odor of dog droppings (I know this isn't a food, but it is highly convenient that I cannot tolerate to pick up after the dog's these days ;)Poor Mark.

My cravings, however, are not quirky, which I find disappointing. I want a weird-ass craving like pickles and peanut butter damn it! I suppose I have several more months ahead of me so I am telling myself to be patient. My appetite isn't really voracious yet and I do realize that soon I may be eating anchovies and other weird crap just have something to chew on. Until then I will have to settle with my need for lemonade, nectarines, apples, bananas (I see a theme here), oranges, and eggrolls (and yes, I did make Mark go to 4 grocery stores to find the exact brand of eggrolls).

Finally, the strangest thing of all...Mark bought me 2 boxes of my favorite girl scout cookies. I still think they are tasty and they don't bother my tummy, yet the 2nd box remains in the pantry after 3 weeks! This is unheard of! I think I lost my sweet tooth, which is fantastic. Maybe I won't gain 50 pounds by the end of this gig afterall.

The Hobbit and the Hoohaa

So, the question of the day seems to be, "When are you due?" Initially, I thought I was due at the end of October but...

Let me begin by saying that January was a crazy month for us and I was a bit out of sorts. I wasn't keeping track of "things" (huh-hmmm...) very closely (hence the baby). This also made calculating the date of conception a bit of a challenge so I took a shot in the dark and picked a date to give the doctor on our first visit.

Let me digress here a moment and reveal that this was another very interesting first for me. Unlike previous visits to the "girl doctor", I was not alone this time. My fabulous boyfriend accompanied me, of course. My initial fear (that he would not be able to keep his hands to himself during the paper gown dressing ceremony) was alleviated after I asked him to please not be that guy, and as simple as that he was the perfect gentleman. My doctor, however, was a little less concerned with my comfort level at my first visit. My doctor decided to begin my exam and then began a 20 min conversation with us about CVS testing. Now I know this is something I'm going to have to get used to, but really?! I was trying to be very adult and hold my thoughts together so I could have a rational conversation with the woman, but all I could think was, "I can only see the top of her head...is this really appropriate? I'm talking to the top of her head from down...oh my god, it's like there's a hobbit...breathe breathe...happy thoughts..happy thoughts..." I felt like I was in a gynecological hobbit nightmare. Thankfully Mark saw my panic and asked that we have this conversation "after she was done." Oye! So it begins!

Fortunately, the day of the ultra-sound was much better. We had already tackled the paper gown/ cricket in the room while I examine your girlfriends hoo-haa episode. With our first experience behind us, we were able to enjoy seeing our little peanut on the screen. This was made even more exciting because we had no idea we would be able to see the heartbeat. All I could say was, "It's alive!" 160-ish beats a minute! No wonder I was sick all the time, my little peanut is running a marathon in there. As if seeing the heartbeat wasn't joy enough, our technician also told us that I was further along that we initially though. Wooohooo! I was getting closer to the glowing, nausea-free days of the second trimester. And so it was done...within a week I was no longer mimicking a narcoleptic and I was able to consume real food. Just like that!

Oh....I almost forgot the important part. The answer to the question of the day is:
October 6th!

Are Babies Made of 1 Part Rum, 10 Parts Vodka Because I've Been Hungover for a Looooong Time!

I've never been hungover for more than a day...until now. By my estimation, I was suffering from a terrible hangover for approximately 8 weeks. Of course I didn't get to enjoy a week, or even one night, of rowdy drunkness. Nope. Each morning the sun would peek through my window while the dogs paced frantically and I would lay there...and lay there...and roll over...and lay there some more. With one eye open and one leg dangling over the edge of the bed I would desperately reach for my saltines and a glass of water (the glass that I unfortunately emptied in the middle of the night during an "I'm going to vomit" or "I think I'm having a heatstroke" episode). With no water in sight I spent a good 15 minutes grinding dry saltines into a fine powder while I tried to swallow. I often had flashes of being stranded in the desert.

When I finally dragged myself out of bed I spent the next hour staring into cabinets and the refridgerator looking for something that I could eat. I never did find much of anything that I could tolerate for more than a few bites. A few hours later I would simply pass out wherever I might be at the time (the car, the couch, my parents living room floor). I would wake and the cycle would repeat until the evening when I couldn't sleep because our bedroom went from 50 to 100 degrees in mere seconds. The 15 or so trips to the bathroom each night also put a little damper on my evenings.

I can say this with a big grin on my face today because the every-second-of-the-f'ing-day sickness seems to be behind me. I had heard about "morning sickness", seen it in movies, and even heard a few of my friends bitch about it a little. I was in no way prepared for how truly terrible it was. Some days I may have even been a bit delerious. Don't belive me? At one point I was convinced that somehow babies and a tall stiff drink were molecularly similar, hence the hangover...See? Delerious! I rest my case.

Although it was a surprise, we were both extremely excited to find out we were going to have a baby and had to document the moment.

Magic 8 Balls Says What?

I left my job in early January to work as a freelance writer. By late January, I was just starting to get used to the idea that I would be working for myself. The home office was coming together, albeit very slowly, and I was getting very comfortable waking with the sun rather than an alarm clock. There was a downside, however. I was starting to think that getting up at 4 am and hoping in the car for a ridiculously long commute (followed by loooong boughts of bordem in my cubicle) was the only way for me to get any work done. I was shocked at my behavior. I had already been working from home 2 days a week and was often very productive on those days. But now, without the tortuously long days at the office, my productivity fell to about zero. Grrr!

I didn't just have writer's block. Oh no, that would be too simple. I had no desire whatsoever to sit in front of my PC. It wasn't too long before the guilt set in. I was trying to convince myself that I must be coming down with a terrible cold or that I was experiencing a very normal rebound effect...all would be back to normal in a few days. The truth is, I was tired, grouchy, and lazy. My list of complaints continued to grow, until Mark started teasing that I was probably pregnant. I didn't take it seriously, I was convinced it was merely a bad case of PMS.

On February 6th I revisited the idea that I might be pregnant.

"Hmmm...I'm dizzy all the time, I feel nauseous, I prefer sleep to anything else, I almost punched Mark for trying to tickle me (just a little testy), my breasts are so painful I've opted for baths over showers, and I cried during a gladiator movie for no reason whatsoever (seriously, I have no idea). Maybe I'll just take a pregnancy test to prove that I'm not pregnant."

"OK, well that looks negative to me....ummm, is that a plus sign? I can't tell. It's very faint."

I dashed to my PC for the first time in days to google the "faint plus sign"...based on what I've read, it seems I may be pregnant. But, who believes what you read on the internet, right? I then made the very rational decision to refer to my Magic 8 ball. It told me, "All signs point to yes."

I immediately headed to the store, picked up 2 more tests (the digital, no brainer kind) and....well, the rest is history. I am actually pregnant.