Drum Roll Please....

Well, yesterday was the big "you're halfway there" ultrasound. We were excited, to say the least. The baby was measured, pictures were taken. Soon the technician asked the question, "are you sure you want to know?" Of course, I'm thinking, Huh!? Are you crazy bitch, I've been waiting for this day for a looooong time. I not into surprises. I'm into decorating and I need to know what color to paint the damn nursery okay? My baby is not about to grow up in the boring world of beige. (Snap snap snap, I should have been born a gay man.) I was also secretly hoping that I wouldn't have to experience the "pink" baby shower. Hey, we all have that "aunt" who usually isn't related to us and who has to make some pink shit out of lace.

So we get to see the creepy baby face/skull. Although its my baby so its f'ing cute if you ask me. We saw the legs, toes, feet, spine, etc. We even saw a yawn. Awwww! Baby wasn't cooperating so the techinician pulled a fancy little belly poke to get the baby to move. Next thing we know, the baby is mooning us.

Now, we've been told these ultrasound aren't 100% accurate. However, you if you look at the little butt cheeks below, you will clearly see some junk down there. I don't think our little man left any room for doubt.

IT'S A BOY!


BABY FROM THE FRONT (yes, I know the skull is sort of creepy)

The Complaints Continue

I promised to continue my list of pregnancy not-so-pleasantries (Note: it appears I'm very good at making up words these days, bare with me).
Where did I leave off? Huh-hmmmmmm (me clearing my throat so my fingers can type better)...

5. Knocking items over with my belly. This is truly inconvenient since I also have a terrible time getting down to the floor to pick up said items. Once on the floor, it takes me a solid 60 seconds to get back up. It's sort of like I forgot how to drive and end up doing a 20-point turn to get out of my parking spot. Needless to say, I avoid the floor unless I have something to help me up. I digress, back to the belly...

Let me exemplify the belly problem by sharing a recent incident. A few nights ago a storm moved in pretty quickly. I was in the kitchen making dinner. Once I heard the raindrops I headed upstairs to close the windows with a tall glass of OJ in my hand (don't ask why I was carrying this with me, I apparently forgot to put the glass down). Once I reached the bedroom, I was winded because stairs are evil and Mark is not yet convinced we need an elevator. Although breathless and fatigued, the catlike agility I have developed since becoming pregnant can only explain what was to happen next. I carefully place my glass of OJ on the night stand and gracefully reached to close the window. Success, no rain in this room. As I turned to the leave the room, forgetting my OJ, my belly ever so delicately brushed the glass. The aroma of fresh oranges filled the room as my feet and newly cleaned carpet were dowsed in my precious OJ...it was the last glass by the way.

I cried. OK I didn't, but I wanted to.

Later I reflected on this and I realized I should be thankful that I'm too short to clear most of the surfaces in my house with the belly. Another perk of being short. Then I got to thinking some more (dangerous, I know). Do you think it's possible with my ever increasing size, gravity will have a greater effect drawing me closer to the ground? Will pregnancy make me shorter? If so, will my next blog tell the tale of my belly clearing the coffee table as I walk by? Hmmm...this would be unfortunate.

Aren't you happy you're not my brain? Its filled all sorts of nonsense.

Mind Games

Some may wonder, what's with that list of books? Well...a while back I decided I was going to read every novel listed in A Well-Educated Mind. This was a very slow process when I started. The first book on the list is Don Quixote....for the love of God! Anyway, I have promised myself that I would a) finish the list before the baby was born and b) use my free time wisely now that I seem to have more of it. I have read all of the books with a plus sign next to the title. Since I have a long way to go I decided put this list out there for all to see. If I start to slack, all will know of my laziness. :) Hopefully this will be extra motivation. We'll see.

Week 17

This is my Week 17 photo, taken a few weeks ago. Sorry, I'm still behind. We're going for our 20 Week ultrasound on Thursday so I will be sure to post photos and (if we're lucky) the answer to the pressing question...boy or girl?

And The Triple Chin Award Goes To…

I have always enjoyed being…err…petite-ish (heavy on the “ish”). Of course, being short comes with its perks. For starters, I see nothing but back of heads at concerts. Usually this is much more entertaining than the actual concert for the following reasons:
1. Most people DON’T pay attention to their backside (eg, a skirt tucked into undies or supremely obvious TGIF hair).
2. Most people think they have rhythm, but don’t.
3. White girls who think they can shake-a-booty actually look like their having a mid-striptease seizure.
4. The fat guy with the ponytail will inevitably throw up the devil horns…it doesn’t matter where. I’m serious. It’s straight out of the Simpsons.
Of course there’s a downside to being vertically challenged. I know who dealt it. Trust me. If you fail to wear deodorant, I’ll probably pick up on that pretty quick too. I can’t reach the top shelves at grocery stores. I can’t drive most cars, but I can usually reach the pedals in most trucks (WTF!). And, the worst thing about being short…1 pound looks like 10.

Now I realize that pregnancy goes hand-in-hand with weight gain. I have feared being as wide as I am tall (I can only grow out and there’s not a lot of vertical, think about it). I have even had nightmares of becoming Violet Beauregarde (yes, I had to look it up…she’s the gum chewing girl in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory). Fears aside, I have been confident, until recently, that I would have moderate weight gain and at least be able to stay at a decent level of fitness throughout my pregnancy. Despite my healthy cravings for fruit (and my weak attempts at staying active) I have blossomed. Yes, my blooming bottom, baby bump, et al are proving that my nightmare may in fact come true.

In the spirit of entertainment, I have chosen a blue swimming suit this year and have been searching for sunscreen with a blue tint. If I already look the part, I might as well have some fun with it. We’ll see if I turn heads at the beach.



While I did imagine becoming the blueberry girl from that 70’s movie, I was in no way prepared for:
1. Developing a prominent second chin.
2. Observing (within a short time) said second chin devour the first chin.
3. Observing (yet again) the second/first chin, consume the neck region. By the time I give birth I’ll merely be a belly with a head on top.
4. Feeling (and looking) like a flailing turtle with a shell on backward. I often get this image while I’m trying to get out of bed. My night goes something like this. I just peed. I have my Tums next to the bed. I’ve got the pillows all arranged. I’m good to go. Huughghgh! (that’s me trying to climb into our bed. It’s made for giants.) Once I’m in, I flop around like a fish trying to position myself comfortably. One pillow for the head. One behind my back, not too high, not too low (this takes practice). One between my knees. Shhhiiittt! I have to pee again! I get up and repeat. Once I’m settled. I will inevitably swear again because a) I have sciatic pain and need to roll over, b) I have heartburn and have to climb halfway out of bed to get a Tums, or c) I have to pee again.

Well, I think that’s enough for now. To be continued…

Belly Photos

I know, I know. I'm not the greatest at keeping my blog up to date. I could riddle you with excuses, but I'm not going to. Instead I'll try to start where I last left off.

Here's a quick baby run down:

WEEK 11

I decide to take my first belly photo. I was already showing a little and didn't want to be huge before I took my first pics.



WEEK 16

We had our montly office visit. The babies heart rate was awesome (I think it was in the 140's) and we got to hear it for the first time! I personally thought that seeing our little peanut with a racing heart was the OMG moment. Hearing the heart was still very cool. The visit was brief, but we were glad to hear that my blood pressure was normal and I am super healthy!

At my first visit the nurse took my blood pressure in approx 5 seconds and said it was pretty high. This had me concerned about preeclampsia as well as gestational diabetes, which runs in my family. According to Mark there was no way she took an accurate reading. Mark took it upon himself to take my blood pressure at home from time to time to make sure all was well. He assured me that I was well within normal range. Still, I was happy to hear that my doc felt I was in perfect health.

Since the morning sickness seemed to be gone and I was in no mood to become a couch potato I started a prenatal swim class and got back to the gym with Mark. He's training for a triathlon so I started walking the track (my goal being 2 miles a day) while he runs.

I also took another photo, this is actually week 15.

I love my man in uniform

I realize it has been a veerrry long time since I've posted anything. We had a crazy 2 1/2 week internet outage, etc. I have rapidly growing belly pics and a few entertaining stories to tell, but for tonight I'm here just to tell everyone who is interested to tune into PBS this week from 8pm to 10pm. It's a week long documentary about the USS Nimitz's 2005 deployment to Iraq. As some of you know, this is Mark's ship so I'm glued to the TV trying get a glimps of my man. He's one the crazy guys running around in a green shirt and is also part of the search and rescue team. I'm personally hoping I get to see one of his rescues. Stay tuned!