How Not to be a Virgo

I have learned many things during Isaiah's short life. The most important lesson thus far can only be described as, "how NOT to be a Virgo".

I have learned:
- to use my shirt as a burp cloth without giving it a second thought.
- to happily wipe away formula goo/ spit-up with my sleeve.
- that if I spill ice cream down the front of my shirt, I can still wear said shirt around the house for the rest of the day if I feel like it (and its one less thing in the laundry).
- that a baby will opt to explosively poop all over you, the bed, and themselves at precisely the time the doorbell rings and the dog knocks over a fresh cup of coffee.
- that the person ringing the doorbell will continue to ring it until you answer the door.
- that once you strip the baby naked, wrap him in blanket, lock the dog in the bedroom, and stub your toe getting to the door, you will find: a) the person has left, b) it is a politician handing out pamphlets, or c) it is a child trying to sell you a shitty subscription to a newspaper that is from a town 60 miles away for their school fundraiser.
- that babies choose to poop primarily when it is inconvenient for you(at the grocery store, the doctor's office, etc)...I see this as preperation for toddlerhood.
- that babies have an awesome sense of smell, which means that every time I make something to eat, Isaiah will cry for food too.
- that sometimes an otherwise happy baby just needs to cry for a minute when they smell your tasty pizza so you can get a bite to eat.
- that babies grunt a lot and that this is very disturbing when you're trying to sleep because no matter how often they do it you will start second guess yourself and think something is wrong.
- that even though I have a big butt, flabby abs, a double chin, an infant to take care of and little to no time for myself these days, I still manage to brush my hair, brush my teeth, and dress in clean clothing that doesn't look like I just got out of bed when I leave the house...WHAT'S UP WITH THE PEOPLE IN WALMART?!!!
- that take-out is always an option
- that the dishes can wait until tomorrow
- that there will always be dog hair to clean up...that too can wait until tomorrow
- that cleaning the bathroom every Monday, reorganizing the kitchen cabinets, knitting everyone a sweater for Christmas, and training for a half-marathon sounds like a great idea, but is not a realistic goal at the moment
- that babies fart A LOT and if the guy next you in the produce aisle thinks it was you, that's ok.
- that the dog will vomit the moment you are finally ready to leave the house (after you've spent the last hour trying to leave).
- that booger snatchers are a necessary evil.
- that the pretty douvet cover I made for the bed is totally staying in the closet for the next 10-15 years.

And most importantly...if it looks like poop, assume its poop. If it smells like poop, assume its poop. And, if your wondering if its poop while your picking up shampoo at Target...yes, it is poop; yes, it is most likely on your shirt; and yes, everybody around you knows it. So smile and ask the lady crinkling her nose if she smells something. hahahaha!