Poop and Stuff

First let me say that I feel blessed to have so many wonderful mommies in my life. You have all been so great at assuring me that my moments of panic with phone in hand to call the pediatrician for every little friggin' thing is normal (is that a new bump on his head? why is it there? is that spit up a funny color? does that mean he has an intestinal blockage? why hasn't he pooped yet? oh my...it must be intestinal blockage! is he eating too much? is he eating too little? is he still breathing? etc, etc, etc). Thank you for reassuring me that I'm not a complete lunatic, just an irrational, temporarily insane new mother.

While the anxiety from my first two weeks of motherhood is slowly easing its grip, I am finally excited to share my first diaper stories. Mark and I were laughing histerically this weekend when we started swapping "guess what Isaiah did?" stories over the weekend. I must share...I'm burned out on drama...bring on the comedy PLEASE!

So obviously Isaiah is a little boy...and little boys have penises that are highly senstive to breezes...if this is news to anyone, you shouldn't be reading my blog. :) We learned very early, that our son has squirming abilities that will dislodge even the most well-placed diaper or wipe, which quickly eliminates all protection from a good hosing. A few days ago, he did just that...he kicked his little legs and wiggled his bottom until the shielding wipe fell to the side. Generally he aims over his left shoulder, hitting whatever lies behind him (in this case our bed) as well as his clothing (usually a fresh out of the dryer onesie...typical). However on this day, he didn't quit free the wipe completely so his aim was slightly altered. Before I could replace it, the sprinklers went on and the poor little man peed into his own eye! He reacted with a full face squint and startle...something you might associate with eating lemons. To make matters worse, I was laughing so hard, it took me minute to gather myself before I could calm him down and get him cleaned up. Lord have mercy, I'm still laughing my ass off.

Weew! Breathe...so now I move on to Mark's story. The other evening while I was getting my beauty sleep, Mark was up with Isaiah. As usual, our son saved the poopiest of dialy diapers for his daddy. It all started when Mark decided to check whether or not the diaper was dirty with a quick finger check...something I've already learned to avoid. Turns out, the diaper was VERY dirty. Being overly tired, Mark didn't head to the bathroom to wash his hands before changing the diaper. Nope! Insted he chose to try to hold out said finger (something like a tea pinky) while completing the diaper change. So Mark was going through his routine, finger in the air...but shortly into the changing, he realized he was taking on a bigger project than he was used to. He lost concentration on the poopy finger and focused on cleaning up the boy without getting poop all over the bed. Once Isaiah was rebundled and dry, Mark placed him back in his bassinet, got rid of the diaper, and washed his hands. He couldn't help but think he was tasting poop. His initial thought being, "man that was once fierce diaper, I swear I can taste it!" A few minutes later, after checking the bed, his clothing, and Isaiah, he returned to the bathroom to wash his hands again because he could not get rid of that poopy smell. This time, he look up into the mirror as he was washing...there was the culprit. Somehow, in full diaper changing concentration, Mark must have wiped his face and left a nice streak of shit across his cheek! ahahaahahahaha. Oh lord, I cannot stop laughing when I think of this story. I am so, so, so sad that I wasn't there to witness this first hand.

We have been welcomed to parenthood! ha!